Orani Singles - Nederlandse Dating in Philippines

im looking for a good man of my life. Love, care , loyalty , honesty , respect , and etc , etc and etc.

These words look good in writing prompts but in real life , they don’t have much meaning if not translated in action.

So here’s why I love my husband and some suggestions for those drowning in the marsh called marriage.

Say I love you - We (wives) love to hear it, however, don’t say it if you don’t want to. We can detect that tone. We have a sixth sense especially tuned to that.
You look “sad / worried / distracted / etc”. Thanks for noticing and saying that aloud. But stop : that’s not the end of the chore. If you know I am sad, you have established that you observe me , but it doesn’t prove you care for me. What next? The action that follows will either melt my heart or distance me from you. Choose carefully.
Care for me. No actually care, like you care for your baby. Make food for me , ask me if I had lunch , check my plate at dinner if I am eating enough. Show me that you care for me. I promise to do so too.
We all settle. No one is perfect. I settled for you when I had other options & vice versa. We both know that. But there was something that connected us both. Gave us more pros than cons. Protect that something. That thing that clicked , that made your heart go wild , that notion “ protect it”. If I looked divine when I smiled , hold that notion even when I get toothless. That will sail us through.
I have changed & so have you. But the basic core remains the same. If I loved to laze around on Sundays , I will always want to do so. Don’t tell me to change my core. If I loved to go out with my friends , I may subdue it for some time cause your mom doesn’t like it but eventually , I will want to get back to it. That’s part of the package.
Respect. It’s such a loaded word. Don’t throw that at me …like ever. Better never use the word in our relationship. I may think less of you when you do things that you shouldn’t have. Remember, I am human. You are allowed too. But if I don’t dress as you want , eat as you want … “respect” has nothing to do with it. If I wash your dirty clothes without flinching , I respect you . If I clean the house that you made a mess , I respect you. If I come home from office and still try and make the best dinner I can , I respect you. If I buy clothes and think of your reaction when I am wearing that , I respect you. Don’t over-cash it.
This may not be everyone’s tea. Fight with me. Not on things like who is more tired when we are back from office , or who will change the daiper. Fight with me on why Trump can’t be a good president or why farmed aquaculture should be promoted more. I am as informed as you are. Help me grow , help me understand different views….I still don’t have much external crowd to do that yet. I am still JUST a female for some males.
If I love you , I will try and preserve this unity. If you think I am not , think again. I have an out , still I am here. Does that not scream in your face that I love you. My touch should tell you that I love you. My eyes , with tear et all should tell you I love you. I cannot massage your romantic notion of a dutiful docile wife , but hey I am an educated woman , who has other avenues and I am choosing to stay with you. That should be enough “ I love you “for this lifetime. Remember this next time you complain that I don’t love you enough.
I am more important to you that any other relationship. Trust me on this. You need your parents to be taken care of , our child to be provided for , our social status to be maintained, and our internal peace of mind retained, I am the common denominator. You CHOSE to share your LIFE with me. My mental health & happiness is as important to you as yours. You may pretend but you will never feel that marital bliss unless I feel it too. Work on me as much as you work on yourself. I am very important to you. So are you. It takes two.
Hints. As a male you are wired for certain things like compartmentalization of thoughts. As a female, I am wired for some. Subtle hints are one of them. I am trying to get away from this social conditioning. Though I am conscious of it, it’s still there and it will be there in the foreseeable future. So learn it. I give out similar hints; you might as well put efforts in learning them.
It’s you and me against the world. We are entity that should not be separated by either of parents, friends or employment. Help me sustain that.
The world is big , and it’s stupid to try and generalize anything about couple relationship. So this is my views based on my context and experiences. Hope it helps you.